I remember over 30 years ago, when Bishop Johnson taught that we must sacrifice to communicate from Heb.13:15-16 (KJV), I had no idea what kind of sacrifice he was talking about until I got married. Also, that passage says with such sacrifices God is well pleased. The other sacrifice He is talking about is the " sacrifice of praise." The sacrifice of praise and the sacrifice of communication involves the usage of our tongue. Ed Cole said when communication ceases in marriage abnormality sets in. Communication is the lifeline of a marriage. In fact, just as our blood carries nutrients/ oxygen to our organs and aids in the removal of carbon dioxide from our internal systems, communication in a marriage is the transport system of life. Also, communication is the means whereby contamination is removed from our marriages. Ed Wheat said that good communication provides the following supplies to a marriage:
1. The knowledge and understanding of one another which you need for intimate closeness
2, The interchange of information and ideas you need to work together as a husband- wife team
3. The capability to work out your differences and resolve your conflicts
4. The continuing " in touch" contact you must have to grow together in the same direction, and to be there to support each other during changes and difficult times of life.
Communications is something all couples must work towards together. Most of our default communications systems we bring into our marriages is a reflection of our how our parents did and did not communication. For the most part, our ability to resolve conflict is encoded into our hearts by our up- bringing. Do not judge your parents. Our parents did the best they could. So don't play the blame game.
Many times transformation in communication takes when our hearts experiences ongoing transformation. After 28 years, I have to say I am a work in progress. Attending several men's encounters and being a part of a connection group, gave me quantum leap in communication.
You may say, I don't want to give in.How bad do you want to save your marriage? Pastor Castelleness said. if we practice this principle change will occur in your life, family or marriage: If I change, everything changes
Don't throw in the towel, not just yet....
